Mourning Memphis: The Grieving Widow

The widow (or widower) isolate themselves from the funeral and interment. Usually accepting calling mourners in a formal parlor adjacent to the funeral parlor rather than succumbing to deeper grief in the company of others. To ease the pains of loss and bring calm, blackberry brandy was often shared with callers throughout the day and night.

Customarily, the widow’s veil must be worn over the face and dress, simple and black. At the end of three months she may wear the veil lifted off her face. This deep veil must be worn for a year and she must remain in mourning fashion no less than two years. Although in the American South, widows may have worn black for a shorter period due to the extreme heat. In the tropics, a widow’s mourning would have been solid white. Many widows never return to gay colors, some wearing mourning the rest of their lives.

A widower wears mourning for a year, only. His mourning must consist of a black suit, black gloves and necktie, and a deep weed on his hat. Those very punctilious in such matters, wear black edged linen and black studs and cuff buttons.

Children wear mourning for a parent one year. It seems an unnatural custom to put very small children into deep black, even for so near a friend as a parent. Children’s clothes are generally trimmed with black, using removable ribbon and accents.